ALANI ALEXSA
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Blessings Don't Stop

4/30/2019

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​This time last year I was a complete mess! My depression was running rapid, and my life was out of control. I found out I wouldn’t be graduating, and there was so much pressure to succeed suffocating me. For me it was the financial stand point that stopped me. What hurt me the most however was working so hard for four years to at the very end being told I wouldn’t be crossing the finish line. It devastated me. Not everyone truly understood the hurt I felt, and till this day still don’t. At that time I had to take a step back and reevaluate my life. I had to ask myself what I was going to do next, and I will be honest and say that I had no damn clue.
 
Despite not finishing school, I think it was the best thing for me overall. This last year has pushed me to be a better me. If I hadn’t finished school I wouldn’t have become a nanny, and had I not become a nanny, I wouldn’t have gotten my job at a Marriott hotel, and had I not gotten that job I wouldn’t now be a Catering Sales Manager, making salary pay, with no degree. A domino effect. All of that hurt I felt a year ago was worth it in the end, because now I can afford to pay my way to my degree. I don’t have to listen to people keep telling me no they can’t help me, because I can help my damn self now.
 
This time last year I was at a lost, but I picked myself up and worked my ass off to make something of myself. I have a job I love, I am making money that I am happy with, and I am back on track to get my degree. I am more than happy in my life, and I am living it the best way I know how. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you cannot accomplish something. Don’t ever let a bump in the road derail you from you dreams and goals. The only person that can hinder your capability is yourself. Take it from me, nothing is impossible.
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The Goat: Nipsey Hussle ??

4/12/2019

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​I cried when he died, and I’ve been crying off and on since. I can’t tell you why, for expect that it felt different. Felt like someone important was truly gone and it ain’t feel right. I may have not known Nipsey Hussle, but I felt his impact. He was a black man who brought about peace, wealth, and respect from a neighborhood that people didn’t have faith in. He started his business where his home was to give back to his people. He had music to voice his opinions. He wasn’t no clout chaser, and he didn’t do it for the fame. He was who he was because it gave him the chance to help those who needed him. He did it for the culture.
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​These last two weeks have been so surreal. I got the chance to go to J. Coles Dreamville Festival last weekend. It was great, but also bittersweet. When people I don’t know pass away there isn’t much effect on me. Yes, I feel bad but I didn’t know them. I wasn’t close to them. They had no impact on my life. However, this death felt different.
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March 31st, 2019, Ermias Joseph Asghedom, known as Nipsey Hussle, was shot and killed. He was an artist I knew of for years, but never really appreciated until recently when his album Victory Lap came out. Once that album dropped I had a whole new appreciation for the man. I learned more about him, and I couldn’t have been more surprised at what I found. He was more than his music and more than a gangster. He was a business man, and a true believer of change. He stood for his city with pride and gave his all back to it; never forgetting where he came from. Nipsey was a man full of dream and goals that he wasn’t going to let anything stop him. He had purpose, one that many artists miss when in the industry. His music had a message that anything is possible.
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The Marathon Continues 🏁 … R.I.P. To Nipsey Hussle 💙
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